Iowa State University Cuffs



Other Groups

Other Local BDSM Groups

CIPEX/DADG – Located in Des Moines

CIPEX-Located in Des Moines

Riverbound – Located in Quad Cities

CROP – Located in Iowa City/Cedar Rapids

University-Sponsored Kink Groups

Columbia University – Conversio Virium

Minnesota Kinky Youth – Min-KY

Washington University – Alternative Lifestyle Association



Alternative Sexuality Informational Resources

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom – Important resource for the alternate sexuality community. Offers legal and media-interaction help, along with many other functions and services.

Society for Human Sexuality – A very impressive resource, with a broad range of topics

Mistress Matisse’s “The Control Tower” – The Dear Abby of kink

Jack Rinella’s Leatherviews – Lots of well-written articles on random BDSM topics

Xeromag – Tacit’s intro site on Polyamory and BDSM

Loving More – Multi-partner relationship resource site

Hanky Code – A cheat-sheet for the Hanky Code frequently used in gay bars

Wikipedia – The Modern Encylopedia – a great site with tons of information on any topic that you may see on this site.


Kinky Shopping

Smitten Kitten- Quality sex-toy and supply store.

Madame S. Leather- The world’s largest catalog of leather and latex clothing

EdenFantasys – Provides great prices and in-depth information on adult sex toys and beginner bondage items. Use the discount code “EP4″ at checkout for 15% off your order.

Good Vibrations – One of the oldest sex-positive sex shops on the net, see their site for great reviews and educational resources

Cane-IAC – One of the leading sources for purchasing canes on the internet

Sub-Shop – A great site with frequent sales for cheaper bondage gear

Twisted Monk – The source for some of the finest organic hemp bondage rope

MauiKink – Another source for great rope, BDSM books, and custom-made kink items

Babeland – Another great female-friendly adult toy store.

JT’s Stockroom – The kinky sex shop with the sexiest catalogs on the net!

MT Leather Products – A fantastic source for leather toys!

DungeonDelights – A good resource for metal and steel shackles and bondage items

Marvelous Mayhem – A great source for custom made leather clothing!

MyPleasure – Sells lots of body-safe adult products and includes information about purchasing them

Rainbow Rope – Great store for metal ware, MFP bondage rope and medical toys!

KnottyKink – The Lovers Knot Rope company. Another source for rope, also a blog with various articles about bondage.


Hanky Code


The hanky code was originally developed by gay men as a method of communicating with potential partners in noisy bars. Today, it has been adopted by people of all orientations who are into some form of kink, fetish or BDSM. The use of the hanky code, also called flagging, does not necessarily imply that a person is looking for a partner, nor that a person is gay. It is simply a symbol of pride in one’s self, and is a neat way to get a fellow perv to say, “Hi!”.

How to use the Code

Fold the hanky of your choice into a neat rectangle, and tuck it in one of the rear pockets of your pants, leaving between half an inch and a full inch showing. If the hanky is just crammed into your pocket or worn some other way, most pervy folks will assume that you don’t intend it to mean anything. Here is an illustration for you of how a purple hanky flag would look in the back pocket of some black jeans:

Hanky Code

Hanky Code

Worn on Left Hanky Color Worn on Right
Bondage Top Grey Bondage Bottom
S&M Top Black S&M Bottom
CBT Top Teal Blue CBT Bottom
Nipple Play Top Dark Pink Nipple Play Bottom
Piercing Top Purple Piercing Bottom
Spanking Top Fuscia (Neon Pink) Spanking Bottom
Latex Fetish Top Dark Grey or Charcoal Latex Fetish Bottom
Is a Bear Red/Black Stripe Looking for a Bear
Airforce Fetish Top Airforce Blue Airforce Fetish Bottom
Cop Fetish Top
Medium Blue
Cop Fetish Bottom
Sailor Fetish Top
Light Blue w/White Stripe
Sailor Fetish Bottom
Fisting Top
Fisting Bottom
Dildo Fetish Top
Light Pink
Dildo Fetish Bottom
Navel Worship Top
Navel Worship Bottom
Armpit Fetish Top
Armpit Fetish Bottom
Drag Queen
Drag Queen Lover
Well-Endowed Masculine Genitalia
Wants Largely Endowed Male [8" and up]
Two Looking for One
One Looking for Two
Obescity Fetish Top
Obescity Fetish Bottom
Toe Fetish Top
Toe Fetish Bottom
Cowboy Fetish Top
Cowboy Fetish Bottom
Father Fetish Top
Hunter Green
Father Fetish Bottom
Military Fetish Top
Olive Green
Military Fetish Bottom
Food Fetish Top
Lime Green
Food Fetish Bottom
Anal Worship Top
Anal Worship Bottom
Suit Fetish Top
Grey Flannel
Suit Fetish Bottom
Lactation Fetish Top
Lactation Fetish Bottom
Safe Sex Top
Black/White Checkered
Safe Sex Bottom
Shaving Fetish Top
Red/White Stripes
Shaving Fetish Bottom
Teacher/Student Fetish Top
Brown Corduroy
Teacher/Student Fetish Bottom
Boxer Shorts Fetish Top
Boxer Shorts Fetish Bottom
Strongman Fetish Top
Gold Lame
Strongman Fetish Bottom
Video Fetish Top
Black Velvet
Video Fetish Bottom
White Velvet
Tatoo Fetish Top
Leopard Print
Tatoo Fetish Bottom
Cuddling Fetish Top
Teddy Bears
Cuddling Fetish Bottom
Tearoom Fetish Top
Tearoom Fetish Bottom
Outdoor Fetish Top
Mosquito Netting
Outdoor Fetish Bottom
Bathhouse Fetish Top
Bathhouse Fetish Bottom
Scent Fetish Top
Scent Fetish Bottom
Willing Open-Minded Top
Willing Open-Minded Bottom

* This is a compilation from a comparison of various sites who host their own hanky codes and represents the most constant showings of different colors and designs. For example, in some other codes, Mustard represents a Food Fetish rather than what’s listed above, but it wasn’t the most commonly found. Also, the above-listed are oriented specifically to play and kink, not necessarily to sexual interaction.


Reading List

Here is a list of excellent books for beginners and experts alike. These books are owned by Cuffs and are available for reference. The Cuffs library is maintained by the organization president.

Cuffs Library

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns! Philip Miller and Molly Devon. Mystic Rose, 1995

SM 101 Jay Wiseman. Greenery Press, 1995

Erotic Bondage Handbook Jay Wiseman. Greenery Press, 2000

Loving Dominant John Warren. Greenery Press, 2000

Mistress Manual Mistress Lorelei. Greenery Press, 2000

Compleat Spanker Lady Green. Greenery Press, 1998

Kinky Crafts: 99 Do-It-Yourself S/M Toys Lady Green and Jaymes Easton. Greenery Press, 1998

The Bottoming Book Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt. Greenery Press, 1995

A Defense of Masochism Anita Philips. St. Martin’s Press, 1998

Partners in Power Jack Rinella. Greenery Press, 2003

Other Recommended Reading

Here are some additional titles relating to Kink, BDSM, and Alternative Relationships. There are always new books being released and some of them might be available to borrow from the personal collections of Cuffs members.

21st Century Kinky Crafts Janet Hardy

A Hand in the Bush Deborah Addington

Bondage for Sex Chanta Rose

Defending Pornography Nadine Strossen

Erotic Tickling Michael Moran

Erotic Slavehood Christina Abernathy

Family Jewels Hardy Haberman

Fetish Sex – An Erotic Guide for Couples Violet Blue

Flogging Joseph Bean

He Comes Next Ian Kerner

Intimate Invasions M.R. Strict

Leatherman’s Handbook Larry Townsend

Leathersex Joseph Bean

Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette Em & Lo

Play Piercing Deborah Addington

Polyamory – The New Love Without Limits Deborah Anapol

Safe, Sane, Consensual, and Fun John Warren

She Comes First Ian Kerner

Shibari You Can Use Lee “Bridgett” Harrington

The Art of Sexual Female Dominance Claudia Verrin

The Better Built Bondage Book Douglas Kent

The Bride Wore Black Leather: Etiquette for the Rest of Us Drew Campbell

The Ethical Slut Dossie Easton & Catherine Liszt

The Kinky Girl’s Guide to Dating Luna Grey

The Myth of Monogamy David Barash and Judith Lipton

The New Bottoming Book Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

The New Topping Book Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage Midori

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn Violet Blue

The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping With Chicks Jen Sincero

Two Knotty Boys – Showing You the Ropes The Knotty Boys

When Someone You Love Is Kinky Dossie Easton & Catherine Liszt

Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink Midori